Traditional Honors at the Bris

In short: The traditional honors at a bris include the sandek (the highest honor, holding the baby during the ceremony), the kvatterin and kvatter (the ushers who carry the baby in), and optional honors like candle lighting, creative readings, and wrapping the baby in a family tallit.

What does the sandek do?

The sandek is the highest honor given at a bris. The sandek has both the responsibility of holding baby on a pillow while sitting on the Throne of Elijah, and the role of putting wine or grape juice to baby's lips while the mohel does his work.

Oftentimes today this honor is bestowed upon a grandfather. As such, it may be uncomfortable choosing one grandfather over the other — Howard can easily use two sandeks and each will play an important role. The honor need not be limited to males or grandparents.

Who are the kvatterin and kvatter?

An Ashkenazic custom: the female usher (kvatterin) takes baby from his mother and hands him to the male usher (kvatter) who ultimately places him on the pillow on the lap of the sandek. There can be more than these two ushers.

Sometimes people equate this role to "godparent." While there is no conflict if the individuals chosen are also godparents, it is not a requirement. Historically, this honor was usually given to a couple trying to have children of their own.

What other honors can we give?

Beyond the sandek and ushers, there are several optional ways to include family:

• Candle lighters: Another Ashkenazic custom is to light candles as part of the bris ceremony. They can be any candles and candlesticks you wish.
• Creative readings: Glantz has several readings you can choose or adapt and give to whomever you would like to include.
• Tallis wrap: Choosing a family tallit and wrapping baby during the passing can express a way of welcoming the generations that went before as well as connecting to the future.